My chest is heavy. I am feeling a certain anger and disturbance in my system. You know how ripples in a body of water, big or small, actually are cinematic and photographic subjects,
but truth of the matter is, despite its aesthetic value, what we actually do when we create a ripple is we bother the calmness of the water. What does the ripple have to do with the shark? Well, I am relying on the sharpness of my teeth to bite this anger from the disturbance. Whoever threw that stone deserves to be 'carnivored'.
Suffice it to say, my calmness has been bothered tonight and my teeth are ready to snap.
My chest is burning. I am feeling a lava lamp bouncing in fluidity in my system. You know why? I miss acting. Allow me to brag a little bit, I am a good actor and I still have so much potential of becoming an even better actor. Lava lamps are fun to watch but that dancing oil inside only becomes entertaining and fun when it's still inside that bottle, and I just don't want to bounce around my bottle, I need to flow. I need this lava lamp, this burning desire to act once again gratified, satisfied, amplified, there's a word I'm looking for that I can't seem to find not even on the tip of my tongue. darn. (goes out of the room and asks the experts) REALIZED. there! (thanks ate jhe).
Please know, my talent that's been in hibernation has been awakened. Who woke it?! Actually I have no clue but I can guess.
Like butter, lard, or left-over adobo in the fridge...It has been hard and stale...today, in a very untimely manner. It's flowing. It's spreadable. It's melting. I don't know how to fulfill it though. Or if I should even plan or make it happen? And by that, I mean...NOW? HOW?
Is this why I am angry and wanting to bite?
Why do I want to act again out-of-the-blue?
I don't know. But what I do know is, this disturbance is only for a short period.
I know I will act again, maybe not now, but it's incredibly good to be reminded today that this dream is still in there. Bouncing around.
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